“It is not uncommon for people
to spend their whole life waiting to start living.” ~Eckhart Tolle
A few months ago, I found
myself on the busy streets of London’s Covent Garden.
It was
a mild Friday evening in the capital and the masses were out celebrating the
end of the working week, looking forward to the weekend ahead.
But
that’s not why I was there.
I’d
come to Covent Garden on that day for a special project.
For most of my life, the fear of what other people thought of me
had kept me trapped. It had prevented me from reaching my full potential and
from enjoying life to its fullest.
I
couldn’t bring myself to dance in public for fear that people would point and
laugh. At work I was unable to voice my opinions for fear they’d be thought
stupid. And at my lowest point, even walking down the street became a struggle,
as my mind ran wild with images of people talking about and laughing at me as I
went by.
I lived
a half-life. I knew I was missing out. I also knew I had so much more to
contribute to this world. But I was paralyzed by the fear that if I put myself
out there I’d be ridiculed and rejected.
And so the “real me” remained cocooned somewhere inside. I knew
she was there, I knew who she was, but fear kept her trapped.
But
sixteen months ago, things began to shift. Filled with an increasing sense that
I wasn’t living my purpose and a vast emptiness from the lack of meaning my
life seemed to have, I quit my corporate office job in search of answers,
determined to live a more fulfilling life.
I made
a commitment to myself then to face each and every one of my fears and to find
a way to reconnect to the real Leah and let her out into the world.
The last sixteen months of my life have been challenging, as I
commit every day to living a little further outside my comfort zone. But being
in that space of discomfort and crossing the threshold from fear into courage
has led to the fulfilment I craved as I realize just how much I’m capable of.
I’d by
lying if I said I no longer gave a second thought to what others think, but for
the most part I can push past that to do the things I know I need to do.
And so
it is that I arrived in Covent Garden, in the hope of now encouraging others to
free themselves of that fear of what others think and embrace life in its
entirety.
And so
there I stood, on the crowded streets of London that evening, holding a sign
handcrafted from old cereal boxes, saying:
“How often does the fear of what other people think stop you
from doing something?”
The
reaction to this simple question left me gobsmacked.
People
stopped and took notice.
Some
smiled knowingly, acknowledging that their own lives had been affected by the
fear of what others think.
Some
nodded with something of a sad look on their face. Perhaps there was something
they really wanted to do but were being held back by that fear.
Others
engaged in conversation, sharing their stories of how the fear of what other
people thought had touched their lives or how they’d learned not to care so
much.
That day, I experienced for the very first time the extent to
which the fear of what other people think affects our lives—all of our lives.
What might we be capable of if we could let go of that fear?
I went
home that evening having learned some valuable lessons…
You’re
never alone.
Too
often we suffer our fears in silence. We believe ourselves to be the only one.
Everywhere
we look we seem to be surrounded by confident people.
But
I’ve come to realize that everyone—those who appear confident or shy;
extroverts of introverts—we all, each and every one of us are struggling with
our own fears.
When
the fear of what other people think is holding you back, take a look around and
remember, everyone is living with his or her own fear. You are not alone.
By
confronting your fears you help others confront theirs.
More
than anything, when you stop caring what others think and set out to achieve
your goals and dreams, you give others the power to do the same.
Someone
is always watching and wishing they had your courage. By stepping up to your
own fears, you really do help others face theirs.
Be
vulnerable and honest. Being open about your fears and confronting them head on
could be the greatest gift you ever give.
What you
think they think isn’t the reality.
Those
people over there? The ones you think are talking about you? Judging you?
They’re not. Really. They don’t have time. They’re too busy worrying about what
people are thinking about them!
And
even if they were looking at you, judging you, talking about you, you can be
almost certain they’re not saying the awful things you imagine.
Instead,
they’re envying the color of your hair, your shoes, the way you look so
confident.
What we
think people think of us doesn’t come close to the reality.
Freedom
from the fear of what others think is possible.
The
fear of what other people think of us is like a cage.
Over
time you become so used to being inside that cage you eventually come to forget
what the outside might be like. You resign yourself to living within its walls.
By
taking deliberate and purposeful action to overcome the fear of what others
think of you, you slowly regain your freedom and escape from the confines of
the prison you’ve created for yourself.
And
life outside that cage? It’s pretty awesome!
It’s a
place where you can be the person you always knew you were meant to be.
And
that, being fully self-expressed, being everything you know you are, fulfilling
your greatest potential in life, well, that’s the greatest feeling you could
ever know.
Don’t
let the fear of what other people think stop you from living the life you were
born to live.
Via:tinybuddha.com
